Cribs

Hello Everyone, Welcome to my Crib! Well, actually it is not exactly a "crib" rather I was using the more colloquial/urban usage of crib as defined as place of residence. Anyway, I wanted to take this time to orient you all to my sweet neonate condo. The picture to the left is me in my living quarters. Its actually called a Giraffe OmniBed made by GE. My condo is approximately 5 square feet. It features wall to wall windows and a sweet climate control system. I can elevate and decline my whole condo as I see fit and I can actually literally blow the roof off this house as it lifts off altogether. I sleep on a bed with a number of blankets and pillows to support my head and just make feel snuggled in. They set me up with a "surf board" when I am sleeping. Basically, it is just a blanket that is folded tight and they place it around my body through my legs so my legs and joints grow appropriately. The fridge to the right of me is not full of Cristal champagne, rather I prefer a combination of formula and breast milk.



I have a bunch of wires and tubes in me at this point, not to mention the annoying CPAP mask. I am constantly being monitored by my nurses and parents which makes it difficult to get away with anything. Can't wait to get a curfew. The other picture is a view of my monitor. The top number in green is an ECG which monitors my heart rate. They get really annoyed with me when I slow my heart rate below 100 which they call a "brady" (bradycardia). The number second from the top in yellow is my respiration rate. Again, they get really annoyed and poke at me when my respiration rate dips, I think they call that an "apnea". I am a bit confused because I thought people with sleep apnea are older, overweight, and snore a lot? The third number from the top in blue is my oxygen saturation level, which I understand I have to keep above 87 or they poke at me again. The number fourth from the top in white is my blood pressure or what they call for neonates MAPS (mean arterial pressure). Well, it was nice showing you around, but I am getting tired and I believe I feel a poop coming on, so I am signing off for now. -JDP